A Yorkshire Tragedy

A Yorkshire Tragedy

A YORKSHIRE TRAGEDY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ALL'S ONE OR ONE OF THE FOUR PLAYS IN ONE CALLED A YORK-SHIRE TRAGEDY AS IT WAS PLAYED BY THE KING'S MAJESTY'S PLAYERS. Dramatis Personae. Husband. Master of a College. Knight a Justice of Peace. Oliver Ralph Samuel serving-men. Other Servants and Officers. Wife. Maid-servant. A little Boy. SCENE I. A room in Calverly Hall. [Enter Oliver and Ralph two servingmen.] OLIVER. Sirrah Ralph my young Mistress is in such a pitiful passionate humor for the long absence of her love-- RALPH. Why can you blame her? why apples hanging longer on the tree then when they are ripe makes so many fallings; viz. Mad wenches because they are not gathered in time are fain to drop of them selves and then tis Common you know for every man to take em up. OLIVER. Mass thou sayest true Tis common indeed: but sirrah is neither our young master returned nor our fellow Sam come from London? RALPH. Neither of either as the Puritan bawd says. Slidd I hear Sam: Sam's come her's! Tarry! come yfaith now my nose itches for news. OLIVER. And so does mine elbow. [Sam calls within. Where are you there?] SAM. Boy look you walk my horse with discretion; I have rid him simply. I warrant his skin sticks to his back with very heat: if a should catch cold and get the Cough of the Lungs I were well served were I not? [Enter Sam. Furnisht with things from London.] What Ralph and Oliver. AMBO. Honest fellow Sam welcome yfaith! what tricks hast thou brought from London? SAM. You see I am hangd after the truest fashion: three hats and two glasses bobbing upon em two rebato wires upon my breast a capcase by my side a brush at my back an Almanack in my pocket and three ballats in my Codpiece: nay I am the true picture of a Common servingman. OLIVER. I'll swear thou art. Thou mayest set up when thou wilt. There's many a one begins with less I can tell thee that proves a rich man ere he dies. But what's the news from London Sam? RALPH. Aye that's well said; what's the news from London Sirrah? My young mistress keeps such a puling for her love. SAM. Why the more fool she; aye the more ninny hammer she. OLIVER. Why Sam why? SAM. Why he's married to another Long ago. AMBO. Yfaith ye jest. SAM. Why did you not know that till now? why he's married beats his wife and has two or three children by her: for you must note that any woman bears the more when she is beaten. RALPH. Aye that's true for she bears the blows. OLIVER. Sirrah Sam I would not for two years wages my young mistress knew so much; she'd run upon the left hand of her wit and ne'er be her own woman again. SAM. And I think she was blest in her Cradle that he never came in her bed; why he has consumed all pawnd his lands and made his university brother stand in wax for him--There's a fine phrase for a scrivener! puh he owes more then his skin's worth. OLIVER. Is't possible? SAM. Nay I'll tell you moreover he calls his wife whore as familiarly as one would call Mal and Dol and his children bastards as naturally as can be.--But what have we here? I thought twas somewhat puld down my breeches: I quite forgot my two potingsticks. These came from London; now any thing is good here that comes from London. OLIVER. Aye far fetcht you know. SAM. But speak in your conscience yfaith have not we as good Potingsticks ith Country as need to be put ith fire. The mind of a thing's all and as thou saidst e'en now far fetcht is the best things for Ladies. ...